I was very nervous for class. As we began class in child’s pose, my head was literally spinning. After we completed the first sun salutations, and I realized that I knew this sequence and I felt confident that I could let my body move, I felt calm. When we returned to child’s pose again, I felt at ease. It was like dancing again, we had danced together, and all shared the same experience in our own way, there was nothing to fear.
As the class went on I felt much more at ease. When it came down to the act of teaching the class in small groups, I was not prepared for what I would find out about myself. I was so worried about reading the script which is meant as a dialogue, not as prose to memorize, and so worried about my classmates at my mercy that I completely jumbled my words. I got myself tongue tied and saw the result- a small group of people trying to “look up and look down” at the same time…ooops!
On my car drive home, I may have looked crazy, but I could recite all the way up to the first downward dog, with all of my favorite cues and with good timing. Speaking in front of a class, this will come with practice. I know now, I am confident in how I move my own body and when I am speaking to myself, but I struggle to let myself speak and act as a yoga teacher to others. I hope this post will help others who are struggling with this same concept. It’s not easy trying to guide someone through an action which you are directing, I have a whole new respect for directors. Guiding a yoga class is like taking a mirror, turning it upside down and trying to write the alphabet backwards today, but with practice it will become second nature and there are many skills (like being direct-and not apologizing all the time!) that will be very beneficial for me to learn.